Gone to His Head

Dear Cosette

I am frequently described as exceptionally pretty. Many men are interested in me, but I am still in love with a fellow I was going with until he broke up with me. He was never considered very attractive to girls, as he is considered nerdy. However, after dating me, he suddenly became popular with women. I suspect that his sudden appeal stems from the fact that we were a couple or because I got him to update his wardrobe and hair style. I also taught him to dance and how to be cool. I think he still loves me, but just doesn't realize it because of all the attention he is now getting from other girls. I call him almost every day letting him know I still care. However, he doesn't even take my calls, anymore. What should I do? I can't stop thinking about him. I am convinced that he will return someday.

Heart broken in Ohio
Diane
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Dear Diane,
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The pain you are feeling right now likely has less to do with genuine heartbreak and more to do with your feeling of betrayal. After all, you gave this guy a chance when no one else did, and this is how your kindness is repaid? Also, as you are very pretty with plenty of other male attention, you are not used to rejection. If you were rejected more frequently then this individual's withdrawal would matter less. Honestly, I think you are wasting your time with this former dork. Sure, he may be more appealing to women now that he is experienced and has all the affectations of sophistication. However, deep down he is lacking in character given that he has allowed this new found female attention to go to his head. If anything, the fact that you continue to call him and pine over him, is continuing to feed his ego, makin him more confident and appealing to other women. It is also draining your confidence and making you insecure, thus repelling better men away. You need to get away from your town for a while, and spend some time cultivating new interests that have nothing to do with men. If you can't leave, then focus your attention on hobbies or other men. When you stop giving your ex so much attention as he doesn't deserve it or you.